fuckmeimadj:

scareofbreath:

John would have liked that. He liked all his suits pretty much, and never had an excuse to wear them.

“I guess I just have a hard time believing people… want me? But ah…” He smiled a litle sheepishly. “You’ve been nothing but generous with me, so I guess I just figured it was altruism rather than genuine affection and interest.” He shrugged a shoulder, sipping his root beer and staring blankly at the table. Ah…. hm.

“I still feel bad for that,” he sighed quietly, playing with his straw wrapper absently. “It.. I shouldn’t have let myself in without asking.” He grumbled a bit and rubbed his eyes under his glasses. “I just.. didn’t want to be alone after that. I was afraid I’d… do something stupid.” The finality of the rejection had really hit him hard.

“But I-” He struggled with his words a little, eventually balling up the paper wrapper and tossing it off to the side of the table, out of his reach. “…thank you. For this… date. And for liking me. It… makes me feel a lot better about myself.” Who thanked someone for a date like that?? A+ John, sheesh.

Dirk shrugged, “Well, I’m not gonna lie, it started out that way. The uh, altruism thing, I mean. Wanting to help you out and take care of you. I didn’t really intend to fall for you or for anyone after what happened. But like…you know. You don’t always have control over who you start wanting and when. To be honest with you, I just didn’t want to tell you cause I didn’t want you to leave. So maybe I can’t really call myself an altruist.” 

He looked at John, shaking his head and holding his hand out. “No, no, please don’t feel bad. I didn’t mind at all. And I still don’t mind, I’ve got you whenever you need me.” Dirk paused, “I like being here for you. I like not sleeping alone. Especially if it means making you feel a little more secure” He sipped his soda thoughfully. 

“You don’t need to thank me,” he said softly, a little smile playing on his lips. “I’m glad I could make you feel a little better about yourself. Because I think you really should. You’re kind of totally amazing, John. I wish you could see it." 

John’s brows knit a little at the explanation, tilting his head curiously. He… thought he’d drive him off? "I-” …maybe he would have left. Maybe at the beginning when he was still hurt and confused and didn’t know what he wanted. Now, he was grateful for the attention - and interest. And if he was being honest with himself, the feeling was steadily becoming mutual. H-he just couldn’t help it - heart on his sleeve, etc. Anyone showed an interest in him and he was smitten. “…it’s okay. You still went out of your way to do something nice for me. So I’ll take it.”

He smiled a little sheepishly. “Don’t tell me that. You’ll never get rid of me.” Ah. Yeah. John tended to get a little… clingy, when the opportunity presented itself. “…but I appreciate it a lot.”

He blushed further. “What. No. I’m not amazing.” He laughed, shaking his head. “I don’t know what John you’re referring to, but I’m actually incredibly lame. And that’s not even me feeling sorry for myself.” Sip. “Totally 100% true facts.”